Last Spiritual Formations : (

Don't worry, this doesn't mean that I'm going to stop growing in my faith...it just means that my favorite class is over : (

I have been instructed to spend one full hour in prayer and then journal about my experiences, and this is what I have gotten after 45 minutes:

Sometimes when I "meditate" if you will, I get silence and it is the most boring experience I have ever had second only to watching grass grow. Other times I will get some small revelation or reassurance out of nowhere, and other times I just get a feeling of peace. Today my mind was on full throttle thinking about final exams and grades and other such worries when I suddenly realized that I tend to freak out for no reason whatsoever. Things are never as bad as I think they are, but I spaz anyways. I need the constant reminder that God's got it and I will NEVER have a complete grip on it. When He's in control, what do I have to worry for? But just because I know that He is working on it doesn't mean that I can just sit back and relax and do nothing. I need to pray, then get up off my knees and DO SOMETHING.

Recently I have run across many weeds and especially rocks in many aspects of my life, especially the spiritual aspect. There has just been so much going on I've kind of let everything slide and had the complete attitude of "the entire world can go screw itself for all I care" and this simply has to stop. Apathy, anger....all of it needs to go. Thankfully I have a loving Heavenly Father whose grace abounds freely for all and He can heal me of all things.
I won't ask Him to remove these trials or temptations or yell at Him for making things hard. Instead I will ask for the strength, perseverance, and patience needed to make it through the next day, and the day after that. I also will continue thanking Him for all the awesome influences and great friends He has placed in my life. Some have gone on, but left quite an impact on my spiritual and physical life.

I would appreciate prayer from anyone willing to pray for me as I continue growing and cleaning up my act, so to speak.

Thanks, and I wish all you poor fellow college students good providence on your final exams this week :D

Exams...oh the horrors....

Yes...it is indeed that time again...the time of year every college student dreads....FINAL EXAMS....

I am sitting here trying not to procrastinate anymore (and we can all see how well that is working out)...

But I would just like to let you fellow studiers know that I am DYING a little on the inside with each fact I read and reread and each math problem I struggle to remember how to do it....DYING along with you....

Just thought you would like some comfort in reading this...

:P Enough of the early morning randomness...

P.S. if you really want some clean humor and a brain break youtube Mark Lowry comedy :D

Done

Hello, Spiritual Formation journal time yet again.

So, recent events have made me no longer want to be a part of the human race...so until further notice I will be living with a pod of Humpback Whales of the coast of French Polynesia....

Just kidding....but really, I am pretty much through with everyone's bull...'scuse the language...but I really am. I do realize that I need to focus on my own sin and error first before I can point fingers at others and I certainly cannot cast the first stone....

I am just about through trying to deal with it all. All I really want to do is run away and start over, but this is impossible. I am not looking for advice, well from God, but no one else. You can give me scripture all you want, tell me that I'm wrong, or try to help me through difficult situations, but the low down is you can't....I won't listen anymore, no one can help me with this except God and it's to HIM I'm turning...not that I haven't been, but yes.

Thanks to those who have tried to help and have given advice, I appreciate it more than words can say, but I'm through.....